Alo Party Peoples
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| et hoc ipsum exitio omnes, et erigens se a populo Romano in regulum Phaeton mund* |
Okay my friends. And my Latin class. This is going to take some explaining. So please be patient with me.
Context for my Latin class. I run a blog, and I usually talk about things I find on the internet, recent movies, or whatever is milling around my brain at the time. I decided to use it productively and here we are.
For my readers,
Right now I am a sophomore at a high school in Dallas, and I take a Latin class. Said Latin class has issued a project to do a report on one of the Roman Emperors. (because the Byzantine don't count even if they called themselves Roman) I was going to do Nero, but someone else took him, so I chose Caligula. Since I spend a lot of time thinking, I decided that I could combine using the Internet as a supplement for my studies, with analysis of topics and publishing said analysis through the aforementioned Internet. (Sidenote, if you want a drinking game that will have you dead in a second, take a shot every time that one of these "*" shows up)
I asked my Latin teacher permission, and he said I could do my report on Caligula in the form of a blogpost. I didn't have to mention him. Just do the report.
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| Germania is around the dark red area. |
I've decided to go throught with it and I am most definitely going to mention him for two reasons. One, to provide context for the sudden change of topic. And two, because I think the Internet has great potential to educate, while also entertaining or at the least engaging.
So here we are. Let's not waste anytime and get started.
Shall we?
Gaius Julius Caesar Augustus Germanicus, better known by his nickname Caligula, was born in 12AD, in Antium to Germanicus and Aggripina the Elder. He was the third of six surviving children. He had two brothers. Nero, who would later become emporer himself and is known mostly for being insane i.e. watching Rome burn while playing the violin, and Drusus. He would become the Third Emperor of Rome, and would go insane as the result of various factors. He would become the first emperor to be assasinated, and was killed as part of a ploy to restore the Roman Republic.
Early Life.
At the age of two or three, Gaius accompanied his father on campains in northern Germania, where the soldiers were amused by the miniature soldiers uniform he wore. This got him the nickname by which he is better known today Caligula, which translates to "little boot" from Latin. After the death of his father from being poisioned in Syria* by an agent of Tiberius, he was transfered between many places of residence, which I won't get into here for the sake of time.
Eventually, in 31AD, Caligula ended up in the care of Tiberius. Yes the same Tiberius from earlier, on the small Tyrrehinean** island of Capri. He lived there for six years, and due to being a natural actor, was able to hide his resentment towards, and be spared by Tiberius.
Early Reign
Tiberius died on March 16 37AD of natural causes*, and left his estate and titles to Caligula, and his (Tiberius's) grandson Gemellus. Caligula entered Rome on March 28, to great praise by the people. He was loved by many for being grandson of the popular Germanicus, he built public works projects, held lavish spectacles, even allowed democracy on a local level. He was popular even though he (Caligula) wasn't the most appealing sport***, as well as being a really weird dude. For example*, he had a pontoon bridge built across the sea, on a distance of two and a half miles. Which he had covered with dirt, before he, in full gladiator attire on horseback rode across it. Before getting off on the other side and going back in a two horse chariot. And he repeated this for two days.
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| Marutenia is in the dark red area beneath the Iberian Peninsula. |
Would you like another example? Okay, in 40AD, he expanded his empire into the kingdom of Marutenia, which was located in what is now Morroco. While doing this he challenged Neptune**** in his campain, and ordered his soldiers to throw all their spears into the ocean. They came back with a bunch of fish.*
In October of 37AD Caligula became very sick. He was so beloved that this concerned the whole kingdom. He recovered soon, but something had clicked out of place in his mind. And Rome soon found itself in a living hell.
Descent Into Madness
Since childhood* Caligula suffered from epilipsy, which was a much bigger deal back then because, in laymans terms, they didn't have MRI's back then, so they had no idea what it was.(His very distant cousin Julius Caesar, no, not that Julius Caesar, occasionaly had these attacks too) His disease, we have no idea what it was, must have done something to... something, that drove him over the edge. He had trouble sleeping, and when he did get sleep he had terrible nightmares. He would often wander the palace at night, waiting for the sun to rise.*****
While conquering Marutenia, he was also leading a campain in northern Brittania (I really hope that I don't have to tell you where that is), near the end of this campaign,* there were reports of Gauls dressed as Germanic tribesmen and Roman soldiers at his triumph. Who were ordered to collect seashells as "spoils of the sea from Neptune" needless to say he was not a stable individual.
He even began to think himself a god. In 40AD he began implementing policies that were controversial then, and would be even more so now. The temple of Castor and Pollux in the Forum was linked to his palace and dedicated to him. And he had several statues of various gods decapitated, and their heads replaced with his own.
I could go on for several chapters about this facinating individual, but I would like to keep this under the length of an English Language Dictionary. So I will provide you with a list of highlights of some of Caligula's crowning moments of insanity.
Caligula's Crowning Moments Of Insanity
-Keeping his favorite racehorse,Incitatus, in the palace in an ivory stable.
-Inviting his guests to his palace in the name of said horse.
-Forcing his guests to eat food made of small rocks and wax.
-Considering making his horse a consul, and even bringing him before a priest.
-Thinking himself a god, to the point that some records refer to him as Jupiter*
-Forcing a close friend through an invountary castration to serve as a replacement wife.******
-Having himself represented as a sun god on Egyptian coins, because he wished to be worshiped as Neos Helios.
-Making it punishable by death to mention a goat in front of him.
There are many more that I could list, and I encourage you to look for yourself, but we are running out of time, so I have to wrap this up.
Death.
Needless to say, Caligula's tenure as Emperor was, for lack of a better term, a complete train-wreck.
On January 22* AD Cassius Chaera, lead a portion of the Prateorian Guard in a sucessful assasination attempt. Some of his Germanic guards rushed to his aid, but in vain. He was dead, as the result of an unsucessful attempt to restore the Roman Republic, that ended up causing Rome to have four Emperors for a year, before Caligula's uncle Claudius eventually took his place. It's complicated and we're out of time anyway. Just look it up.
In conclusion, This man is fascinating, the world is fascinating, and I strongly encourage you to look into the history yourself.
Hat's off to all, have a nice day, and let's keep the web weird. Shall we?
Greg.B
I have culled information from the following sources:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Caligula
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Capri
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tyrrhenian_Sea
http://www.roman-empire.net/emperors/caligula.html
Google Translate
My Latin teacher, who will remain unnamed to preserve privacy.
And the deep recesses of my own mind.
*Maybe. Sources disagree, which tends to happen a lot when you look this far back into the past.
**The Tyrrehinean Sea is located between the northern coast Sicliy, the west shore of Italy, and the east coast of Sardina.
***He had a hairy body, and it was punishable by death to mention goats in his presence.
****Neptune is the Roman god of the sea, better known by his Greek name Posideon
*****Say this Caligula bloke isn't that diffrent from me. Draw from that what you will.
******I remember hearing that somewhere, but it might have been Nero.
Speaking of deities. There is something that I believe requires explaining for those that aren't very familiar with Greco-Roman polytheism. Greek gods were very different from the idea of God that most of us are familiar with. Plurality aside, Greek gods were not perfect beings. They had the same vices and imperfections that we mortals have to deal with. Pride, lust, jealousy, vanity, conflict, these were not things that the Olympians were immune to. They were basically humans, just with the power of gods.
