CUT TO; Exterior, Kevin's House day. The bright orange bug screeches to a halt outside Kevin's house, a huge, tacky McMansion straight out of their vague recollections of the 2000s. Nobody gets out yet, they're too relieved to be alive- but with nary a moment's pause, KEVIN springs down the front steps and beelines for the car.
Kevin: (bangs on the window) Hey guys!
Carlos and the Artist don't react. This is normal for Kevin, as is showing up to meet his friends in what surely must be a thousand dollar suit.
Artist: (rolls down the window slowly, still not moving) He's still in a suit, isn't he?
Carlos: (manages to turn head) Yup.
Artist: Thats my boy.
Kevin: (grinning, looking in through the open window) What, you think I'm going to slack off just because we're on vacation?
Kevin flings open the door of the car and runs around to the other side to open Carlos' door. He then scrambles around to the trunk and begins pitching items out at top speed. Hank sits motionless in the driver's seat as Carlos and the Artist hop out.
Kevin: (still unloading rapidly) So, how was your trip?
Artist: I lost my bag.
Carlos: I almost got arrested.
Artist: And Hank over here almost killed us.
Carlos: It was very educational.
Hank (offscreen) You're welcome!
Kevin: (to Hank) We're going to have to talk about that- (turns to Carlos) wait, what's that about you getting arrested?
Carlos: Apparently, the TSA doesn't like it when you bring half a chemistry lab through airport security.
Kevin: (beat) You've never flown before, have you?
Carlos: How can you tell?
Kevin: (to Artist) He's still the smart one, isn't he?
Artist: Last I checked.
Hank: (while "Shake It Off" blasts out of his car) Intelligence works in a bunch of different ways.
Artist: Did anyone ask you!?
Hank: I'm educating you!
Kevin: Hank, I think you should leave.
Kevin's POV, Hank turns off the radio and turns on the ignition.
Hank: You're welcome for everything. (sticks his head out the window to look at Kevin) By the way, I'm keeping the sign.
Before anyone can respond, Hank rolls up the windows and drives off into the distance.
Artist: (to Kevin) Alright, who the fuck was that guy?
Kevin: Hm? Oh, that was Hank, did he not tell you his name?
Artist: That is not why I'm asking.
Kevin: I found him on the street, gave him a sign, and told him to find you. At the airport.
Carlos and the Artist stare at him, in disbelief and anger.
Kevin: What? I had to get the house ready.
CUT TO; Interior, guest room, day. The Trio are carrying Carlos' lab equipment. Carlos lags behind, struggling with a large box. Carlos' POV, he turns to Kevin, who is in his peripheral vision.
Carlos: Hey, give me a hand here?
Kevin doesn't reply, Carlos tries again.
Carlos: Hello?
Kevin doesn't reply, he doesn't even move. Then, suddenly…
Kevin: (offscreen) Sure.
Carlos nearly drops the box as he whips around to find Kevin standing right behind him.
Carlos: What the christ!?
Kevin: I see you found wax me.
He turns around to see that there is indeed a life size wax model of Kevin standing in the middle of the room. Every detail, every pore, every wrinkle of his face is rendered in perfect detail. They are even wearing the exact. Same. Suit.
Carlos: Artist!
Artist: (leans around corner) What?
Carlos: (squawks at Wax Kevin)
Arist: (examining it closely) Oh my god that is amazing! (runs up to get a closer look) Kevin, you never told me you were so talented!
Carlos: (freaked out) The eyes!
Artist: How did you make this? Did you do this with hand tools? Did you use molds for reference?
Kevin: You wouldn't believe how many half-finished bodies I had to throw out because they were left in the light too long.
Artist: (smirks) Creepy melted Kevins with cold, dead eyes.
Carlos shudders as the Aritst speaks.
Kevin: Do you want me to show you?
Artist: Kevin, don't break the Carlos.
Carlos: Why do you have this?
Kevin: My parents got me sculpture classes.
Carlos: But why is it a sculpture of you?
Kevin: I can get infinite reference pictures of myself! What, do you want me to make one of you?
Carlos/Artist: No!/Yes!
Kevin: Check this out.
He pulls a little remote out of his suit pocket, presses a button, and Wax Kevin's mouth opens and starts blasting out harsh, heavily distorted EDM.
Carlos: It got worse, how did it get worse!?
Kevin: (fiddling with the remote) Hang on a second! It's the radio setting-
He cycles through increasingly worse and increasingly bizarre pop, hip-hop, whiny emo rock, conspiracy theorists, and a traffic report before it lands on..
Wax Kevin: I feel fantastic, and I've never felt as good as-
Carlos: This is my life, I have two of you now.
Artist: After that car ride, you're complaining?
Carlos: You people are insane.
Artist: And that's why you love us.
Carlos storms off towards the kitchen, Kevin and the Artist follow after him as Wax Kevin reaches the chorus.
Written by Greg Byrne and Oliva Steva
Formatted by Greg Byrne
Questions? Comments? Concerns? Ask us on Twitter at@GregB00 and @oliva_steva
Questions? Comments? Concerns? Ask us on Twitter at
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