Movie Backlog of 2014

Seen In Theaters

1. Jack Ryan: Shadow Recruit (An Espionage Thriller Without Any Thrills) [Fifth Worst]
2. The LEGO Movie (Surprisingly Good) [Fifth Best]
3. Pompeii 3D (Bad) [Third Worst]
4. Divergent (Lazy, Blatantly Pandering Garbage) [Second Worst]
5. Noah (Blasphemous But Bizarrely Brilliant) [Seventh Best]
6. Captain America: The Winter Soldier (Better Spy Thriller Than Jack Ryan) [Third Best]
7. Draft Day (Good)
8. Disneynature Bears (Alright)
9. The Amazing Spider-Man 2 (Mediocre)
10. Neighbors (Good)
11. Godzilla (2014) (Good)
12. X-Men: Days of Future Past (Good)
13. Maleficent (Good But Fascinatingly Flawed)
14. The Fault In Our Stars (Charming) [Sixth Best]
15. Edge of Tomorrow (Good) [Honorable Mention]
16. Trust Me (Good But Flawed)
17. 22 Jump Street (Good) [Ninth Best]
18. Earth To Echo (E.T. For The Digital Age Both Aesthetically And Thematically) [Honorable Mention]
19. Dawn of the Planet of the Apes (Good On Multiple Levels) [Second Best/Favorite of the Year]
20. Chef (Good)
21. Lucy (Bat S*** Insane) [Dishonorable Mention]
22. Guardians of the Galaxy (Just Plain Fun) [Fourth Best]
23. The Giver (Pleasantville's Inbred Right Wing Cousin) [Worst of the Year]
24. Life Itself (Soon To Be Mandatory In Film Classes) [Honorable Mention, Didn't Meet Release Criteria]
25. If I Stay (Frustratingly Bad) [Fourth Worst]
26. The Zero Theorem (Lucy Done Right) [Honorable Mention, Didn't Meet Release Criteria]
27. The Maze Runner (Mediocre if Serviceable) [Dishonorable Mention]
28. The Best of Me (Really Good Lifetime Movie)
29. The Judge (Good But Shallow)
30. The Book Of Life (Style Over Substance)
31. Interstellar (The Nolan Brothers' Spielberg-ian Love Letter To NASA) [Tenth Best]
32. Big Hero 6 (Solid Superhero Movie, Animated Or Otherwise)
33. The Hunger Games: Mockingjay Part 1 (Solid Action Movie, Stretched A Little Thin)
34. Foxcatcher (Pretty Darn Excellent) [Honorable Mention, Didn't Meet Release Criteria]
35. Exodus: Gods and Kings (Dull Except When It's Stupid)
36. Annie (Pretty Decent Children's Musical)
37. The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies (The Whimpering Bang That Ends The Series)
38. Night at the Museum: Secret of the Tomb (Not Worthy of Robin Williams' Last Performance)
39. Into The Woods (Pretty Good Musical, Sort of Falls Apart At The End)
40. Selma (The Most Important Film of 2014) [Best of the Year]
41. American Sniper (Strangely Empty)
42. Whiplash (The Angry Little Drummer Boy)

Caught Later On Video

1. Snowpiercer (Like Nothing You'll See In Western Theaters)
2. Boyhood (Richard Linklater's Vacation Footage)
3. Gone Girl (The Greatest Lifetime Movie Ever Made) [Eighth Best]
4. The Interview (This Is The Movie That Started An International S***storm? Really?)
5. The Grand Budapest Hotel (Twee Literary Snob Hipster Fest, But A Really Good One)

AMPAS Best Picture Rankings

#8) Boyhood

#7) American Sniper
6) Birdman or (The Unexpected Virtue of Ignorance)
#5) The Theory Of Everything
#4) The Imitation Game

#3) Whiplash

#2) The Grand Budapest Hotel

#1) Selma