"A Floridian Holiday": Scene 3: Kevin

To read the first two parts of A Floridian Holiday, click here for part one, and here for part 2.

CUT TO; Exterior, Kevin's House day. The bright orange bug screeches to a halt outside Kevin's house, a huge, tacky McMansion straight out of their vague recollections of the 2000s. Nobody gets out yet, they're too relieved to be alive- but with nary a moment's pause, KEVIN springs down the front steps and beelines for the car.

Kevin: (bangs on the window) Hey guys!

Carlos and the Artist don't react. This is normal for Kevin, as is showing up to meet his friends in what surely must be a thousand dollar suit.

Artist: (rolls down the window slowly, still not moving) He's still in a suit, isn't he?

Carlos: (manages to turn head) Yup.

Artist: Thats my boy.

Kevin: (grinning, looking in through the open window) What, you think I'm going to slack off just because we're on vacation?

Kevin flings open the door of the car and runs around to the other side to open Carlos' door. He then scrambles around to the trunk and begins pitching items out at top speed. Hank sits motionless in the driver's seat as Carlos and the Artist hop out.

Kevin: (still unloading rapidly) So, how was your trip?

Artist: I lost my bag.

Carlos: I almost got arrested.

Artist: And Hank over here almost killed us.

Carlos: It was very educational.

Hank (offscreen) You're welcome!

Kevin: (to Hank) We're going to have to talk about that- (turns to Carlos) wait, what's that about you getting arrested?

Carlos: Apparently, the TSA doesn't like it when you bring half a chemistry lab through airport security.

Kevin: (beat) You've never flown before, have you?

Carlos: How can you tell?

Kevin: (to Artist) He's still the smart one, isn't he?

Artist: Last I checked.

Hank: (while "Shake It Off" blasts out of his car) Intelligence works in a bunch of different ways.

Artist: Did anyone ask you!?

Hank: I'm educating you!

Kevin: Hank, I think you should leave.

Kevin's POV, Hank turns off the radio and turns on the ignition.

Hank: You're welcome for everything. (sticks his head out the window to look at Kevin) By the way, I'm keeping the sign.

Before anyone can respond, Hank rolls up the windows and drives off into the distance.

Artist: (to Kevin) Alright, who the fuck was that guy?

Kevin: Hm? Oh, that was Hank, did he not tell you his name?

Artist: That is not why I'm asking.

Kevin: I found him on the street, gave him a sign, and told him to find you. At the airport.

Carlos and the Artist stare at him, in disbelief and anger.

Kevin: What? I had to get the house ready.

CUT TO; Interior, guest room, day. The Trio are carrying Carlos' lab equipment. Carlos lags behind, struggling with a large box. Carlos' POV, he turns to Kevin, who is in his peripheral vision. 

Carlos: Hey, give me a hand here?

Kevin doesn't reply, Carlos tries again.

Carlos: Hello?

Kevin doesn't reply, he doesn't even move. Then, suddenly…

Kevin: (offscreen) Sure.

Carlos nearly drops the box as he whips around to find Kevin standing right behind him.

Carlos: What the christ!?

Kevin: I see you found wax me.

He turns around to see that there is indeed a life size wax model of Kevin standing in the middle of the room. Every detail, every pore, every wrinkle of his face is rendered in perfect detail. They are even wearing the exact. Same. Suit.

Carlos: Artist!

Artist: (leans around corner) What?

Carlos: (squawks at Wax Kevin)

Arist: (examining it closely) Oh my god that is amazing! (runs up to get a closer look) Kevin, you never told me you were so talented!

Carlos: (freaked out) The eyes!

Artist: How did you make this? Did you do this with hand tools? Did you use molds for reference?

Kevin: You wouldn't believe how many half-finished bodies I had to throw out because they were left in the light too long.

Artist: (smirks) Creepy melted Kevins with cold, dead eyes.

Carlos shudders as the Aritst speaks.

Kevin: Do you want me to show you?

Artist: Kevin, don't break the Carlos.

Carlos: Why do you have this?

Kevin: My parents got me sculpture classes.

Carlos: But why is it a sculpture of you?

Kevin: I can get infinite reference pictures of myself! What, do you want me to make one of you?

Carlos/Artist: No!/Yes!

Kevin: Check this out.

He pulls a little remote out of his suit pocket, presses a button, and Wax Kevin's mouth opens and starts blasting out harsh, heavily distorted EDM.

Carlos: It got worse, how did it get worse!?

Kevin: (fiddling with the remote) Hang on a second! It's the radio setting-

He cycles through increasingly worse and increasingly bizarre pop, hip-hop, whiny emo rock, conspiracy theorists, and a traffic report before it lands on..

Wax Kevin: I feel fantastic, and I've never felt as good as-

Carlos: This is my life, I have two of you now.

Artist: After that car ride, you're complaining?

Carlos: You people are insane.

Artist: And that's why you love us.

Carlos storms off towards the kitchen, Kevin and the Artist follow after him as Wax Kevin reaches the chorus.

Written by Greg Byrne and Oliva Steva

Formatted by Greg Byrne

Questions? Comments? Concerns? Ask us on Twitter at @GregB00 and @oliva_steva

Let's Go Out To The Movies: "Scouts Guide To The Zombie Apocalypse": Deliriously Devilish, Earnestly Entertaining.

Directed by Christopher Landon
Written by Christopher Landon,
Emi Mochizuki and
Carrie Lee Wilson

(R - Paramount - 1 hr, 33 mins)

Alo Party Peoples.

Scouts Guide To The Zombie Apocalypse will likely become one of those movies that's just weird enough in just the right way to do okay-ish in theaters, but once it hits DVD it gets this huge cult following mostly made up of kids that weren't able to see it in theaters. See also, the first Kick-Ass, Scott Pilgrim, and probably Chappie in a few years. In this case, it's like someone took a Disney Channel pitch, with the attendant production design and character types and basic plot structure, and decided that its final form should be an incredibly sleazy, insanely bloody, gleefully hard-R gore fest less like Halloweentown and more like The Toxic Avenger. 

Three high school sophomores and long-time scouts are having trouble trying to recruit new members because nobody their age seriously cares about scouts. Ben and Carter are both considering leaving, since sixteen is the age that they should start thinking about college and girls and all that stuff, but they can't bring themselves to do it because Augie, the only one that still takes scouting seriously, is about to get the highest possible badge. While they're on a campout to earn that badge, and Ben and Carter try to sneak off to the secret senior party, they discover that a zombie plague has broken out and they've been left behind by the evacuation crews. It's a race against time as they put their scouting skills to use to survive and find the party to get them out of the town before the Army bombs it to contain the outbreak.

Scouts Guide To The Zombie Apocalypse is a movie in the veins of the drive-ins of the Fifties and the midnight movies of the Seventies and the direct-to-video schlock of the Eighties. It's a very Millennial take on the form, down to the bluntly memetic title, the pounding EDM and nostalgic turn-of-the-millennium pop blasting out of the soundtrack, and that it takes a parody premise that should just be a "grown up" Nickelodeon TV movie and plays it mostly straight while still having the most ridiculous grin on its face. It's the YouTube Generation's take on Troma, and the results are deliriously devilish and earnestly entertaining.

If there's one thing a movie like this has to do well, it's the genre-mimicry/fusion stuff, and Scouts Guide To The Zombie Apocalypse absolutely nails it. The costumes and the set design and the gore effects and the delightfully hammy performances all make the production feel like an SNL sketch about Sam Rami making a Disney Channel movie, but unlike most attempts to turn an short parody sketch into a feature, it has enough energy and enough earnest enthusiasm from everyone involved that you can't help but get a contact high from the experience.

Scouts Guide To The Zombie Apocalypse is a vile, nasty little thing, and it revels in it. If you're old enough to go see it without a parent, you're also probably too old to really fall in love it, but as a less horror-oriented Halloween distraction, it's some of the best fun you'll have in a theater this year.

Have a nice day.

Greg.B

FINAL RATING: 4/5

Let's Go Out To The Movies: "Steve Jobs": Promises Transcendent Greatness, Merely Extremely Competent

Directed by Danny Boyle
Written by Aaron Sorkin

(R- Universal- 2 hrs, 1 min.)

Alo Party Peoples.

Your heroes will always disappoint you when they turn out to be mere men. The only thing that Thomas Edison ever invented was the industrial research lab. Walt Disney was in the business of distilling childhood whimsy, and lobbying so other people couldn't do the same to him. Steve Jobs is no different. He didn't do anything that other people couldn't do, and what he did do amounted to taking the fruits of other people's labor and making them prettier and shinier. That's not to say that I hate Apple, far from it - I booked tickets for this movie on my iPhone, most of my reviews are drafted on an iPad, and this one was edited while listening to Apple Music, but those products would have been better if they hadn't come with the cultish materialism that surrounds all things Apple like flies at a produce stand.

Much like Apple itself, Steve Jobs promises transcendent greatness, but merely delivers extreme competence in its field. There is no one aspect of the film that is truly great, but it accomplishes all of its goals well enough and with enough polish that it's sure to catch on with audiences.

Focusing on three important product launches in Jobs' life from the Macintosh in 1984 to the iMac in 1998, Steve Jobs seeks to peel back Apple's glossy surface and get at the inner workings of the man benind the machine by going behind the scenes. Nearly every shot is an interior shot, winding through hallways and boardrooms and dimly lit backstage control centers, further exemplifying the film's goal of looking behind the curtains, past what it calls Jobs' "reality distortion field" and get at what they think motivated the man behind the Mac. That's why the film in 1998, after the iPod, and especially after the iPhone, Apple went from a niche-fixation of computer geeks to the titan of the tech sector, and Jobs' public image became that of the new great heroic American businessman, the 21st Century Thomas Edison.

But Edison's public image has tarnished significantly over the past few years, and Steve Jobs seems to want to do the same thing to Apple by looking at the hipster chic icon, well, before it was cool. As expertly played by Michael Fassbender (yeah, I know he doesn't look anything like Steve Jobs, but the performance is good enough that it doesn't really matter), Jobs comes across as a half-mad genius willing to do anything and everything to enact his vision of what computers should be, and that vision is a sleek, closed system "that has to say hello", no matter the costs to himself, or to his company, or to those around him.

Fassbender's performance comes across like Jake Gyllenhaal in Nightcrawler; a nigh sociopathic businessman that trashed his personal relations, hyped his wares to kingdom come and stretched the truth to make sure they'd sell. Steve Jobs's version of its namesake tries to name his daughter Lisa after a computer so he'll have a touching story to tell at the launch (while she and her mother are living on welfare and he's publicly denying that he even has a daughter), runs his demos on more advanced hardware than he sells (during the film's version of the NeXT launch in 1988, he doesn't even have a finished operating system at the launch, all it can do is run the demo), and selling underpowered hardware that can't interface with existing peripherals at premium prices, for which he is called out again and again by Apple co-founder Steve Wozniak. 

During a flashback to the development of the Apple II, Jobs doesn't want more than two ports because he doesn't want people getting in and messing around with the guts of the machine, Wozniak thinks he should have those ports, because "computers aren't paintings" and people should be able to repair their machines, and Jobs reluctantly agrees. That obsession with "end-to-end control" is here indicative of a desire by Jobs to control every aspect of his life.

That contradiction, that Jobs made sure his computers were warm and inviting, but was anything but to the people he worked with, is a fascinating one, and one that Fassbender portrays wonderfully, capturing both the half-mad visionary that founded what would become the world's most successful company, and the all too flawed human underneath. He will get an Oscar nomination for this, and he deserves it. The rest of the cast is terrific as well, Kate Winslet as Job's marketing head Joanna Hoffman is a perfect contrast to Jobs - a marketer has to care about what other people think of them, Seth Rogen as Steve Wozniak is just perfect casting,  Makenzie Moss, Ripley Sobo, and Perla Haney-Jardine as Lisa at various points in her life just amazingly well, all distinct but all still feeling like they're versions of the same person.

Steve Jobs is not a perfect film, and it's not the definitive account of Steve Jobs' career. It's honestly too soon for one to exist, and if you aren't already familiar with Jobs' story, one that has inspired three separate films in the past couple years, it definitely isn't going to hold your hand. But taken on it's own merits, it is an excellent character piece, and worth your time to see, regardless of your opinions of the man behind the Mac.

Have a nice day.

- Greg.B

FINAL RATING: 4/5

"A Floridian Holiday": Scene 2: Welcome to Florida

To read the first part of A Floridian Holiday, click here.

Exterior/Interior, the bright orange bug, day. The Artist and Carlos climb into the back seat. Hank gets into the driver's seat, locks the doors, and starts adjusting the mirrors. He starts talking as he looks through the rear view mirror at his passengers.

Hank: (over his shoulder) You guy's ready?

Carlos: (thumbs up) Set for takeoff.


Artist: Yup
Artist:...thanks for that. 
Carlos: What about that one time, junior year, with the liquid acid and the apple jacks?
Artist: Ok, that one was Kevin's fault.
Carlos: (to Hank) Other than that, she can be trusted.

She points to a small plush angler fish dangling from the rear-view mirror 

Artist: Sweet fish, where'd you get it?

Hank (annoyed) It's not just a fish, it's a Hanklerfish.

Artist: (confused)...what's a Hanklerfish?

Hank: Only the most amazing fish to ever live.

Carlos: An anglerfish is a deep sea creature with a bioluminescent-

Hank: Hanklerfish! It is a fish, created by a Hank. Like myself.

Carlos: (helpfully) When anglerfish breed, the male bites the female on its side and slowly digests it's own body-

Hank: It's always a good time to learn. (spins around, cracks knuckles) Strap yourselves in, it's going to be a bumpy ride.

The engine starts, the radio crackles to life, and "All Summer Long" by Kid Rock starts blasting out of the speakers as Hank peels out.

Carlos: Hey, I know this song!

The Artist turns to look at Carlos, eyebrows raised.

Carlos: My family will be red-blooded Middle Americans til' the day I die, and you're from Texas, so don't give me that look.

Artist: My parents are respectable urbanite scum, thank you very much-

Exterior, intersection day, an SUV screeches to a halt as Hank blows past a stop sign and the line "caught somewhere between a boy and man" plays. 

Interior, bright orange bug, day. Carlos and the Artist are gripping the edges of their seats, Carlos speaks up.

Carlos: Holy shit, dude, you just ran a stop sign!

Hank does not respond, he is focused intently on humming along to the chorus.

Artist: (alarmed) Um, hello? Hank?

Hank: So, where are you from, Kevin's friends?

Artist: Oh, well I'm from WATCH THE FRICKING ROAD, YOU MANIAC!

Hank: Hm, can't say I've been there.

Carlos: What's your problem?

Hank: You're in Florida now, get used to maniacs.

Artist: Yeah, where I come from, when we see a big red sign that says "STOP", we step on the breaks and look both ways, not floor it like a bull charging a cape!

Carlos: You know, bulls can be quite gentle when they're well treated.

Artist: Sarcastic, I'll remember that.

There is an audible crack as one of the side mirrors strikes a light post and flies off the vehicle.

Carlos: (trying to sound calm) Good sir, did you happen to notice your mirror just got violently ripped off the vehicle as you almost (increasing panic) collided with a LAMPPOST AND KILLED US ALL OH GOD!

Hank: (surprised) No. Thanks, I'd never have noticed. (looks over at the stump where the mirror used to be) Eh, I never liked that one anyway.

Hank's POV, a sheet of newsprint flies straight into the windshield. Hank turns on the windshield wipers and everyone screams as he swerves to avoid crashing.

Artist/Carlos: (in unison) Stop the car!
Hank: 'Kay.

The car pulls into an abandoned parking lot, the music cuts out as he slams the breaks. Everyone jolts forward and slams back. (beat) The Hanklerfish falls onto the dashboard, everyone is too freaked out to notice.

Exterior, parking lot day. Everyone gets out of the car, Carlos and the Artist are still shaking off the experience, just as Carlos is starting to smile the Artist snaps back to reality.

Artist: What the crap was that!
Carlos: (excited) Can we do it again?

Hank/Artist: (deadpan/intense; in unison) No!

Hank: Haven't you ever been on the road before? It's a fight to survive, man! Defensive driving!

Carlos: I see the defensive, the driving part is a bit debatable-

Artist: Defensive driving is one thing, that was an all out assault on your fellow drivers!

She grabs the flyer off of the windshield, balls it up, and slams it on the ground in frustration. Carlos quickly sidesteps and picks it up.

Artist: (frustrated/confused) What are you doing?

Carlos: (holds up ball of paper) You're littering.

Hank: That's a very serious thing. (puts on an exaggerated Southern drawl) We don't dare mess with Texas, but if you do it in Florida it's just fine.

Carlos: Preach, brother.

Artist: Both of you shut up and get in the car!

Carlos hops in, Hank walks towards the drivers' seat, but the Artist stops him.

Artist: Nope, after that insanity, you are not driving again. (holds out her hand) Give me the keys.

Hank: Are you serious? You can't drive my car; I barely know you!

Artist: You can't drive your car, and I've known me for 21 years, I can be trusted.

The Artist gets into the drivers' seat.

Hank: (frustrated) Fine.

He stomps over to shotgun. Artist's POV; she notices the Hanklerfish on the dashboard, she picks it up.

Artist: (very seriously) Look at what your reckless driving has wrought! (shakes the plush) You've killed Hanklerfish!!

Hank: (even more seriously) You do realize this is a stuffed toy, right? Are you sure you should be driving?

Artist: (rolls eyes) Just get in the car.

Hank: I mean, with the liquid acid and all-

Artist: In. And that was Kevin's fault.

Hank: Kevin is a nice young man, you take that back!

Carlos: It kind of was, it depends on your perspective. Do you blame the person who started messing with the sensitive lab equipment, or the person who poured it on cereal to see what would happen, or the person who ate all of it-

Artist: Moving. On.
Carlos: Just saying.
Hank: He has a point.
Artist: You weren't there, Hank!
Hank: You are not going to talk to me like that! Get back in the back, and be quiet the rest of the way there!

He pulls up his shirt to reveal a taser, Carlos and the Artist jump back in surprise. Then, no words, just actions. They slowly get back in the car, Hank gets in the drivers' seat, he puts the Hanklerfish back on the rear view mirror, and starts the engine.

Artist: (cautiously) More Florida precautions?

Hank: You can never be too careful in this town, kid. (spins around to the steering wheel) For example, an angry hipster and a junior mad scientist from out of state might try to steal your car.

Carlos/Artist: Hey, I'm at least a mid-ranking mad scientist!/I wasn't trying to steal it, I was just trying to-

Artist: (to Carlos) Wait, what?

Carlos: Like, I probably could conquer the world, if I really wanted to, but I'd use my powers for good.

The Artist stares at him, not sure if he's being serious, until Hank breaks the silence.

Hank: -or you could run into that guy.

Hank's POV; in the rear view mirror he sees a homeless man waving around an umbrella and shouting "The Meat Man is coming for us all!"

Carlos/Artist: Drive!

The engine roars to life, and the bright orange bug rolls out.

Written by Greg Byrne and Olivia Steva

Formatted by Greg Byrne.
Questions, comments, concerns? Ask us on Twitter at @GregB00 and @olivia_steva

"A Floridian Holiday"

Alo Party Peoples.

A question a lot of critics get after tearing a film apart is "Could you do any better?" This generally doesn't get a response, for two reasons. The person asking generally doesn't want an answer, and more often than not, that answer is "No." The ability to write about fiction generally doesn't translate into writing fiction itself, there are a lot of film critics that took up the trade because they stalled on the road to becoming film makers. I'd like to think that I'm a pretty good critic, most people I've gotten feedback from seem to think so, but I've never really tried to write fiction before, until now.

Over the past few months, I've been working on a screenplay with a friend (who requested that I not use their name), and I wanted to put part of it up here to get some feedback and know whether I am one of those critics, and the result was A Floridian Holiday. What we've done is search various news outlets for bizarre stories, weird circumstances, and generally all manner of strangeness, and take inspiration from them to write a comedy. We didn't know whether we'd finish it, or if there would be any theme we were trying to get across, but if what we created resembled a working narrative, then we would consider it a success.

I know, this is generally a review site, and when I've done editorials they've been few and far between, but this is my site and I'll do what I want with it. If y'all want to see more, or have some feedback to give, please let us know in the comments or on social media. Without further ado, here is...

A Floridian Holiday

Written by Greg Byrne and A Friend

Inspired by the myriad tales of Radio Dead Air

Smash cut to exterior, Convenience Store, night. The building is surrounded by cop cars, lights flashing. The parking lot is sprayed with brightly colored paint, spent fireworks, spilled household chemicals, and several sets of discarded clothes.

Cut to one of the cop cars, where TWO OFFICERS get out and face the store, one of them has their sidearm drawn, the other pulls out a megaphone.

Officer One: (over the megaphone) Come out with your hands up! We have you surrounded!

Officer Two: (still broadcasting on the megaphone) You’re not supposed to say that yet; that’s not protocol-

Officer One: (loudly) Totally surrounded!

Cut back to the convenience store, where, slowly and dramatically, three young adults, a hipster, a man in a suit, and a geek rise out of the wreckage of a gas pump, hands above their heads, drenched in gasoline. The one in the suit steps forward to address the officers.

Man In A Suit: Officers! (beat) Believe it or not, there is an innocent explanation.

Hipster: (mumbling to herself) We are all going to jail.

Smash cut to title card.

CUT TO; Exterior, mid air jumbo jet, three days earlier. Interior, coach section, where THE ARTIST, 21, the kind of person that would call themselves "The Artist" with a straight face, is stuck between a sleeping old man and a businessman typing furiously into a laptop. The Artist is staring into her smartphone when the PA system comes on...

PA System: Attention all passengers, we will be landing at Miami International soon, please turn off your electronics.

Businessman: (groans petulantly, looking up from his laptop) Why?

PA System: Because they interfere with the plane's navigation systems, sir.

The old man nearly stirs from his slumber, and the Artist and the businessman jump in surprise, not expecting an answer, the businessman does not close his laptop.

Artist: (turns her head to look at the Businessman) You heard the man. 

She puts away the smartphone as the Businessman glares in her direction, not quite believing what just happened.

Businessman: Did God just tell me to turn off my electronics?

The lights in the cabin briefly flicker as the plane encounters a patch of turbulence.

Artist: (with a smirk) Whatever floats your boat, buddy.

The Businessman turns away from the Artist and closes his laptop, in utter silence.

CUT TO; Interior, baggage carousel, two hours later, where CARLOS, a short, wiry man of 22, is waiting in the lobby with a pile of luggage taller than he is. There is a distinct electric energy to him, like the entire room is charged with static. The Artist walks by, spots him, and runs up to him

Artist/Carlos: Carlos!/Artist!

They bro hug, it is the most adorably twee thing you have ever seen. The Artist gestures towards the luggage mountain.

Artist: What's all this; you bring your whole life with you?

Carlos: Nah, just all the stuff you need to make it.

Artist: You brought the lab?

Carlos: It's spring break, I'm going to need all the help I can get.

Artist: (slightly bemused) It's spring break, which means you don't need all this for a week.

Carlos: You should have seen the TSA agent's face.

Artist: I'm sure it was lovely.

Carlos: (looks behind her towards the luggage carousel) So, what does your suitcase look like?

Artist: (shrugs) ...I don't have one?

Carlos: (looks at her, confused) We're here for a week, how did you not bring a suitcase?

Artist: I handed it to the airline staff at DFW, and I never saw it again; I'm just gonna roll with it.

Carlos: With no extra clothes, no chargers, no money-

Artist: I have my chargers on me, I'm not an idiot.

Carlos: Money?

Artist: Got it.

Carlos: Toothbrush?

Artist: I can get one.

Carlos: Books?

Artist: I have them downloaded, Mom.

Carlos: What are you going to do about clothes?

Artist: (claps him on the shoulder while gesturing toward the luggage mountain) You can grow me some.

Interior, lobby, cont.; The two start walking away from the baggage carousel through the lobby towards the door.

Carlos: Okay then, I doubt either of us can afford a rental car, so do we call up an Uber, or-

Their pockets ding, and they both pull out their phones at the same time. An onscreen popup reads "look for a guy with a big awesome sign"

Artist: It looks like Kevin sent someone.

Carlos: Of course he did.

CUT TO; Montage of the Miami skyline, pristine beaches, trendy downtown bars, pounding night clubs, etc. set to "Miami" by Will Smith.

CUT TO; Exterior, Miami International, day. The Artist and Carlos walk out of the building, carrying Carlos' equipment with them. They look across the parking lot, and find HANK, mid-late 30s, is holding a sign reading "Carlos and the Artist", which is decorated much like someone gave a kindergartner unlimited art supplies and caffeine.

Artist: Hi, I'm guessing you're Kevin's friend?

Hank: That I am. And you two are Carlos and (checks sign)..the Artist?

Artist: That's us.

That is the start of A Floridian Holiday. Do you want to see more? Have any comments, questions, concerns? Leave them in the comments or on social media.

Have a nice day.

Greg.B